Walk! No walk! Walk!

3/26/2026 - Ina goes for a walk and takes a bus home.

Hey, I went on a walk! Be proud of me!

A stay at home NEET who eats take-out for every meal finally gets to see the sun after god knows how long.

Of course, it's not fully true. I've went down to the convenience store not five minutes away from my apartment. I've occasionally went to the mall not fifteen minutes away from me to sit idly at a Starbucks with no coffee in hand, only a 1.5L bottle of water from home. One too large for my bag to fit (yet I still shoved in my bag to save myself from buying any drinks outside.)

But that's not the point right now. The point is that I haven't had a proper walk in a while. You know what I mean.

For the past few months, it's been rough. The sense of loneliness been drowning me despite my best efforts to ease myself out of the waters. Lately, I've been told many times that I'm too harsh on myself. I agree! Self deprecation comes too easy, but I'd like to move on from using myself as a punching bag. I'm tired of it really. I haven't had a good night's sleep in months now. I wanna be able to write music again.

I've posted briefly about it on Bluesky, but I'll go more in depth here. I had a really shitty day yesterday, there's no denying it. The details of which I won't delve into but long story short: I felt awful! I haven't had this aching in my heart for a long while now, I sobbed (and I mean sobbed) for the first time in a long while the day before.

All that's to say it reminded me of the script of ALYSS=.-. You know that game? You should. You probably do if you're reading this. You should play it if you haven't. Anyways, one line particularly stuck to me after I read the script for the first time.

"People I speak to online often ramble about how healing a simple hike is. It remedies all. The body, mind and soul."

While I can't go on a hike myself, I went on a walk to simulate that of Alyssa's journey. Just with no snow, no mountains to climb.

While outside, I like doing one thing: Walk in one direction until I can't anymore. Let my heart take me where I want to go. And that I did! I absentmindedly put on slippers, still in my sleeping clothes, no bra, camera on my neck and headed out. Our first notable site is my secondary school. I'm not sure many of you know this but I'm a dropout! Passing by and watching the school where I once studied felt nostalgic. Memories of friends I don't talk to anymore other than one. (Which we barely speak anyways outside of seeing each other occasionally at shows.) Sometimes I think about how different it would've been if I knew I was trans in school. It would've been a mess. I sometimes wonder if I didn't get too depressed to keep studying would things still be the same? Would I still be making music and being a nuisance (affectionately) to people?

Passing by the school, I find myself at a small village. I'm not sure where it was honestly, the buildings looked old and it was quiet. There's little to nobody around these parts and if they were, they were probably out working during this time. That's not to say it was completely dead of course. There were two kids playing on the playground, someone drying their clothes on the balcony. Reminds me of when I lived in a village myself, a building with (what I can remember) three floors. We lived with our uncle at that time and left promptly after apparently seeing a ghost. Well, that's another story to tell. I got excorcised once, it's a funny life I live.

It's probably good that I mention that I live in an area closer to the border, kinda in the outskirts of Hong Kong if you will? I'm not sure how to explain it. I walked through junkyards, passed by what seems to be farms? Eventually I ended up near factories producing god knows what. I sat at the bus stop awaiting the bus home. Which is a miracle that it even exists, considering I'm kinda far away. But! Eventually after 10 minutes of waiting my bus arrived and I got home safely. I felt better. I sweated lots. I hope I'm more than a sweaty moe blob to you all.

Hearing the sounds of the leaves rustling, the sun on my skin and the paw prints embedded in the street made me feel better. It made me feel alive. Life stays ruff but I stay pawesome or whatever. Sorry that you (my friends) have to endure my shitty jokes. Thanks for reading.